New Years and I'm snowed in in NH

If you have certain things you “resolve” to do, I don’t understand why you have to wait for a particular date to start them. Life is a race, sort of, but what makes it ’sort of’ a race is the fact that no one else really gives a damn about you and your personal ambitions. No one else is as invested in your ‘winning’ as you.

That’s a nice piece of mindset meat to absorb – its kind of liberating to know that no one cares. You’re now free to do whatever you want. However, the bitch of it comes when you have to then A) figure out what it is you actually want, B) hour by hour, actively pursue it.

With that in mind, I resolve to keep doing what I’ve already been doing – working on the things I like to work on, and keep figuring out what little interests I have that I wasn’t really aware of, nor had the time to innocently pursue and run with.

I also need to keep writing in this blog. I’ve been fucking horrible about it, and I have literally a dozen drafts of pieces I’ve been working on but haven’t posted yet.

Have to get them perfect.

Fuck that. I’m just going to post and see what happens. EDIT quickly, post, and see what happens.

Going out to Bars

Something strange has happened lately. I’m 21 years old and no longer derive the same joy and satisfaction by going out and getting shitfaced and bringing some girl home.

The latter didn’t happen so much anyway. Whatever.

I work very little right now, but can still make enough to cover my rent and the most menial of expenses. I can’t save anything, but I have a four day weekend. I can’t begin to tell you how wonderful it is having four days to fuck off and do whatever I please. And not be dependent on my parents’ or anybodies opinions of concern regarding my “direction” and what I’m doing.

The fact is, I have the mental energy to devote myself purely to the things that interest and intrigue me. I also have the abundant amount of time to test these interests, see where they lead, contemplate them, tweak them, and be otherwise creative with them. And from THAT indirect route, I’m slowly finding lits bits of success in areas that I hadn’t considered. Only because I hadn’t given myself the opportunity to consider them.

Be free in all the ways you can hope to be free, and your life will become exhilarating, profound, and meaningful.