Cats versus Dogs

Cats are haughty and aloof animals. They are highly independent, and need very little nurture and attention. You’d think men would thrive in a kingdom full of them…and yet they don’t. Men typically like dogs. Why is this?

Because men are exactly like dogs. Surprise.

1. This is not to say they are stupid…like dogs. However, its a certain kind of intelligence that makes man and dog similar. When dogs don’t understand something, they get confused. If you watch a man’s reaction to dealing with something complicated (like women), his confusion is obvious, laughable even. The visible confusion of a man with his hands on his head, blank and drooling stare, makes the scenario funny, even when we discard the particular facts at hand.

Woman – “[complicated rambling with subtle, indecipherable hints, mixed with emotional and passive-aggressive personal attacks]“
Man – [head cocked to the side, like dogs do when you do something weird]

2. Dogs and men are vulnerable. Human males, being slightly more complicated than a dog, may not seem vulnerable. In fact, there are many more societal inferences having to do with men being emotionally rigid and uptight than there are inferences about them being gushy and weepy. Though, this is changing with the current generation of hipster males. If we were currently living in our ancestral environmental, evolution would have taken care of them swiftly and impersonally.

So why do I say dogs and men are vulnerable? Because when they do finally crack, they crack all the way. As many women have astutely pointed out, cracked men (for a brief span of time) are the most emotionally true and honest species in existence. If you’re a male, think about the times you’ve hit bottom in life.

Yeah. Its pitiful. You can see yourself sprawled out in a chair, bewildered, and emotionally devastated, while your female counterpart stands crossed-armed two feet away, shaking her head. “What have you done with yourself?…” (if you can’t yet deal with or understand real meaningful relationships, use a different proxy than the woman)

I defy you to name a single woman who was honest enough with herself, or anybody, to crack all the way. Sure, they cry more and stuff, but they never really reach the breaking point, where they surrender their emotions and internal projections of themselves to others’ scrutiny.

And to bring this full circle – dog’s are very much like men in this respect. They have delusional ideas about their own strengths and toughness. They carry on and fight the fight. Even the tiny ones. And yet when they break, or get in trouble, they curl up and whimper like apologetic little bitches. They are sorry, but most importantly, they forget to care or consider how their own little pathetic moment might look to others.