All day every day I am bombarded with evidence of infinity. Study a subject — you will reach a point where the implications of a particular concept perfectly complement a concept from an entirely different field. As you go down the rabbit hole, a disturbing awareness overcomes you and you realize that there are a massive amount of interchangeable ideas and concepts out there. There are infinite actually. Infinity it seems has been built into the ethos of the universe – and so everything we touch see or think about has properties of infinity.
We assume knowledge and compartmentalize almost every fucking thing we encounter, and we have to to some extent. We don’t have the mental energy to glaze over everything with some bullshit existential model of infinity always taken into account. Physisists can’t approach every modern problem while questioning the basic assumptions that have taken us this far. We can’t recreate an atom. It’s too much work, and it would take too much time. More than 80 years certainly.
If you start to see a world comprised of infinity, it looks like a desperate and exhausting struggle just to get through a day without wanting to stab yourself. I think the trick is to find worthwhile things to do that take you outside of yourself. Things you can mindfully and mindlesslessly do that will stop these thoughts from taking over your life. It doesn’t have to be lots of stuff, just enough to get through lots of days. Even though 80 years isn’t really a long time, I’d rather live through that time as close to a dreamlike state as possible.
